I can write now
in the middle of the night
I can hum notes to the moon
decide my bedtime
and I can leave the room
I can crave human touch
and feel the ache of loneliness alone,
I can leave the window open
leave the volume at an odd number
and love my past without being scorned.
I can talk to strangers
I can talk to my sisters
I can live without fear of uncontrolled anger.
I can forgive without explanation.
I can grieve, weep, laugh, love, empathize
I can remember screaming, crying, jealousy, isolation.
I can remember pleas for solace.
I can remember the day solace was claimed.
I can avoid the righteous,
I can walk with the wanderers.
I can accept what would not change,
I can regret not accepting that sooner.
I can give compassion to whomever is in need.
I can accept compassion whenever I am in need.
I can promise myself to
take the time to heal
take the time to find the corners of being alone
take the time to depend solely on my spirit for peace.
I can be the woman I aspire to be
outside the box,
outside false accusation,
outside society's expectation.
I can realize most of my life I was afraid of losing those I love.
I can choose to face that fear,
and eat it daily for breakfast til it's gone.
I can believe that no one belongs to anyone,
and I can believe we all long for each other.
I can work as much as I need
to pay my bills
to fulfill my soul
to never depend on the generosity of anyone who would hold it against me.
I can embrace every form of love
and let each exist on its own
without competition, comparison, or conceit.